Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series/Quotes
The episode intros:
Yami: Yugioh was filmed before a live Studio Audience. |
Yami: Yugioh is brought to you by YugiOs - they're Yugi-licious! |
Yami: No duel monsters were harmed during the making of this episode...except for Kuriboh. |
Yami: The following cartoon is based on real events. Some names were changed in order to protect the innocent. |
Announcer: Next week, in a very special episode of Zorc and Pals: |
Yami: Wait, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn? |
Joey: BROOKLYN RAGE! |
Yami Yugi: Couldn't I just mind-crush him? |
Yusei: You can be my wingman anytime, Yugi. —Ho Yay-tastic.
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It's a good thing I'm Seto Kaiba, or that might've actually hurt me. —Seto Kaiba, walking CMOH.
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Lecter: Let's say we had your motorcycle, Mr. Kaiba. And for the sake of argument, imagine we were both dueling while riding said motorcycle. How would you describe that situation? |
"Hey Guys! Can I be in your movie?"
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Tristan: My voice gives me super strength! |
"You don't know what you're up against. Pegasus is ruthless. Camp... but ruthless! |
"Try speaking American, it's the only language I understand." |
It's like something out of H.P. Lovecraft, only gay! |
Yami: By the way, have you ever seen Labyrinth? |
Teddy: Your mother plays card games in hell! |
Duke: We'll play Dungeon Dice Monsters, a game of my own creation. We each take it in turns to draw dice. |
..."Hey that guy looks just like me! And he has a Blue-Eyes, just like me! And he's an asshole, just like me!" |
"OH MY GOD, A GIANT ROCK!" |
Kaiba: Are you trying to tell me that Yugi and I are destined to play card games with each other for eternity? |
Yugi: Okay, Pharaoh, you can thank me later. And remember, no hickeys! (switches to Yami) |
Bakura: "You sound nervous. Is it the accent? Do you want to know how I got it? My father was a drinker; one night he went a little crazier than usual, so my mummy got the teapot to defend herself. He didn't like that, so he pours boiling hot tea all over her. Then he comes at me with a teapot and asks 'Why so British?'." |
Mai Valentine: My breasts are not fake! |
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Kaiba: Summonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonit |
Kaiba: It looks like the rules--(pulls out a pair of sunglasses)--just got screwed! |
Kaiba F(BEEB) DESTINY! I AM SETO KAIBA! I MAKE MY OWN FATE! |
Yami Yugi: Kuriboh! Activate Super Chibi Kawaii Desu Moe Mode! * Kuriboh makes a rainbow, cue theme music* And now I activate Robot Unicorn Attack! Go mighty unicorn! Cross the rainbow bridge and attack his lifepoints directly! |
Tristan: It's okay Serenity, I lived my life as a side character, fit only for spouting mindless quips and catchphrases. But now, I get to die the way I always wanted, falling, screaming like a girl into a pit of boiling hot lava, flesh being seared from my bones. If I do survive, I'd probably be unrecognizable. But if I do die, It'll be as a main character. It's funny; I used to think my voice gave me super strength. But now, I know the truth. And it's my love for you is what really gives me super-strength. |
Kaiba: (Possessed!Tristan is standing on a roof) Hey, that's that funny guy that says the funny things! Hey, funny guy! Say some funny things! |
"Ushio! Baby! How's it hanging! Get it? 'cause you're gonna die!" |
Yami: Wanna play a game? |
Yusei: I'm the serious one with the voice that makes the fangirls swoon. |
Yusei: Paradox. |
Yami: So stand back y'all, cause it's time for a real main character to take the field. |
Joey: Okay Kaiba, this time I'm really gonna beat ya, and there's nothing you ca do about it!
Joey: Well, I'm glad you asked. |
Marik: "Plus, we're both hot! Hot, hot, hot! We are quite sexy! |
Joey: Yeah, I have a closing statement. Maybe we have committed copyright infringement. But you gotta know we've done everything in our power to support the Yu-Gi-Oh franchise! And if it weren't for us, I don't think the show would be nearly as strong as it is right now! |
- *Cue Curb Stomp Battle*
Flame Swordsman: My name... is... FRANK!! [commences to pwn Johnson's Deck Master] |