Magical Native American/Quotes

"The police report here says that you 'leapt upon Mr. Kohana's back, pulling at his shirt and screamed 'Transform, you heartless bastard, take eagle form and fly to her! There's no time!' " The doctor flipped the report onto his desk and looked back to me.

"Are you going to make me say it?... I secretly believe some Native Americans can shape shift," I admitted, ashamed.

"Why on Earth would you believe something so preposterous?"

"Well, why is it so ubiquitous, if there's not some truth to it?! Every comic book, every sci-fi novel, every horror movie, every anything with a Native American guy in it has him transforming into some kind of animal at some point!"

—"Dumb Things White People Secretly Suspect About Other Races" by Robert Brockway, Cracked

Aline: I found a pow-wow!
Layne: Wow! You really do have Native powers.

Aline: Yup! Also, I used the Internet.

—Moosehead Stew by Alina Pete